Refusal of the call
Euphoria
slow down, go fast
has She ever thought to ask
why She can never be last?
ayye! drink me, baby
that's what the bottle says
eat me, baby
take me in
eat my beauty and my sin
i say
look me in the eyes or compromise
i say
chew me till i’m ground
take me around the world with You
never let me go
drink me very slow
faster now, let me in
i promise i’m not or have ever been
the way back home
but throw a pin at a map
tip the bottle back
bite down till i snap
and when You’re done
ask me, baby,
how to breathe again
even with my hands on Your neck.
ayye! eat me, baby
till You spit me out
and let out a shout
i say
keep me close
until i’ve thawed
and You’ve had a chance to taste
my sweet sweet fraud.
Dreamland
Sometimes when Her dreams and reality
go on a honeymoon,
they come back
to find that they’ve fallen victim
to a robbery.
Mama?
How many times are you going to interrupt me, child? My very own personal chatterbox.
Sorry. It’s just– what has She been robbed of?
Her innocence.
Innocence?
Yes, innocence. When someone lives in their own version of reality for too long, they eventually realize that it was all just a dream. When that happens, they lose access to the dream they once enjoyed. They can never see the world the same again.
That sounds awful.
Yes, well, it’s the cost of truth. Now let me continue.
Bloody Waters
She’s seen the pictures
of Black bodies floating in the water
and blood sinking into rain splattered streets.
Pictures of tragedies,
pictures of Black death.
Bloated bellies.
Cracked skulls.
Missing limbs.
Bullet holes.
When She visited the homes of their souls
and saw their clothes still tainted red,
She started to turn back
because Her own soul had begun to pause,
listening to the whispers of the others around it.
But just as She had begun to walk away
She thought,
how will I know they are red
unless I look?
Even if it hurts,
paint my eyes
so that all I see is blood red.
Fill my lungs,
so that when I breathe out,
the wind weeps scarlet.
Coat my hands,
so that when I leave
they will know that
I was there.
Red Tails
Sometimes, when She is sitting in Her room at night,
just before She closes the windows to shut in the light,
She has the abnormal thought that if a sniper were outside,
Her head would be the perfect target,
surrounded by a yellow glow.
Other times, She’s sitting in the kitchen,
eating lunch,
and hears a plane fly by overhead.
And for a split second,
She will wonder if there are fighter jets
looking to drop a bomb into Her PB and J.
Occasionally, She will read the ingredients listed
on Her box of cereal or gallon of Hawaiian Punch,
and theorize that the government is out to
deliberately poison her.
Yesterday, She was walking down the aisle of Walmart
when She saw a white man,
maybe 10 years Her senior,
with a gun holstered on his waist.
In the moment,
all She could think to do
was hide behind the shelves of Wonder Bread.
She always makes sure Siri is turned off
for fear of interference.
Because how else would it know to turn on
when She says, “hey, Siri,”
if it weren’t always listening?
Today, She walks down the street
and passes a factory
that sits right next to Her old elementary school,
and decides Her friend’s childhood asthma was premeditated.
Now, She’s thankful
that She, unlike most,
has lungs that grow stronger with each day.
She sees Her neighbors
who continue to cough through the manmade haze,
She sees Her data
that has a life of its own,
She sees those at the Capitol
white power seeping from their lips,
She sees the lack of grocery stores in Her city
despite the demand,
and She even sees the way Her country
creates enemies of the world.
So, it’s not surprising that
when She looks out Her window,
head a perfect target,
surrounded by a yellow glow,
that She realizes that maybe
She’s not so crazy after all.